More Scambling and Collar Giving

When the shows start to come close to their endings, not only to the charaters scramble, but the scenes scramble as if the writers already started to work for another show. I keep noticing large skips in travel and location. I guess it's a good sign that I'm picking up more of the language but it's certainly not making it easy.

The characters also start throwing gifts at each other left and right trying to win hearts and settle arguments.

Did you know that the word for necklace is collar? When someone gets a necklace as a gift they talk about how much they like their collar. Me gusta muchisma mi collar nueva! I just keep waiting for them to say back commands to roll over or speak. They normally follow it with te amo or something lovey dovey.

The Upcoming Death of Una Familia Con Suerte

Whenever the end of a telenovela comes near it seems like the characters are ants that just got their castle smashed by bored little Timmy. He thought that the soap opera was going on for too long. You also notice that a lot of the extra characters along the journey of the plot disappear because little Timmy also gets out his magnifying glass.

I need to plan out my mourning process. I'm thinking a box of tissues, a salted margarita and a Taco Cabana dinner with the chips and queso. All are invited.

Good morning, Latino Texas!

The morning show of Univision. Two gorgeous women and one attainable looking man who can sing are the hosts. They go over interviews, upcoming events and most importantly birthdays! I guess I watch it at exactly the same time each morning because they are always putting on goofy hats and they dance around in a conga line. Sometimes they have random performers joining in. So, sometimes they will be dancing and you'll notice someone spinning plates and someone else swishing her skirts in colorful waves. But then you'll see a little person in chicken suit start to run around the whole group and it will become too creepy. I turn it to HGTV when that happens just for a normal start to the day if you call shopping for $500,000 dollar homes to buy or using the same budget to fix up their kitchen "normal".

Dora Has Never Been Better

Don't let anyone catch you doing this, but morning cartoons are so much fun when you can't understand a word of it. You know how many times Dora awkwardly repeats herself and then stares at you? Then she does it one more time because she didn't believe you? Well, it actually makes sense when she wants you to speak in another language. If you watch her on Univision, the whole script is in Spanish with a tiny bit of English. Just perfect for our purposes. Pretend you're five and have her show in the background while you're doing chores.

You'll know when you're supposed to say something because of the dragging pauses. She doesn't judge you if you say the wrong word. She just pretends that you said the right word and moves on to save the day with her backpack and monkey friend.

How to Test Your Level of Fluency

Delisioso-This is a cooking show and I've found it to be a wonderful tool. With any cooking show if you think about it, someone is teaching someone else very clearly how to correctly cook a dish. They repeat themselves, they only talk about food and how it's prepared. You also see everything that they're talking about. For example, when she's talking about potatoes, you hear her say "papas" over and over again while she's holding papas.

I'm going to try testing myself by writing down notes and trying one of the dishes. I'll know when I'm fluent when I get an edible meal. That's how you access yourself when you're going through my Univision fluency program. I just made it up, but you can tell yourself it's official.

Nuestra Belleza Latina- Our Beautiful/Lovely Latina

This show is a mutt mix between The Voice, American Idol, America's Got Talent and

America's Next Top Model. Everyone's American whether it's North or South. 

The "challenges" are good for study practice because it's usually something about them doing some improv reporting on a certain theme or they are acting a telenovela clip out but they all have different scenes and characters. Each week the girls compete in a variety of next top model competitions and runway catwalks in bikinis and new fashion.

My favorite competitor got voted off already. I think her name was Ivanna. She was the only blonde so she stood out. She was pale without a tan and I always root for a girl who doesn't want a good dose of skin cancer later on. There are three judges. There is a Simon, but there isn't a drugged up Paula. I still haven't quite figured out how they do the rankings and scores.

I also really like it because I can easily pick out  different accents from around Latin America. The hostess of the show is the constant when it comes to that because like news casters they do not want to use any particular accent. They clear up their social accents to speak to all of Latin America. I would
love to end up sounding like her one day. She says a lot of "Mire" and "Lo
siento." (To loser contestants.) Llantos-Means Sobbing They do that a too.
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Spanish Soap Opreras Actually End?!

So recently I've been told that #1 Spanish soap operas have real endings. Not Christmas holiday breaks, they really end and another show takes it's place. This is genius. Plus, it kind of gives me a deadline to find a new show to really follow after this. I don't think that my attention span can handle Una Familia Con Suerte as an immortal like Days of Our Lives. #2 They recycle the actors. They could be playing a completely different character for the next one. Last night I was watching Univision to check out the late night tv line up and there I saw Arnold! But it wasn't Arnold. He wasn't sexually confused at all. He wasn't trying to be funny either. He was playing a rugged cop who was a single dad? #3 this is something not so new but the soap operas are several months behind the original airing so the holidays won't match. This is all just to keep us on our toes. Like the teacher excuse, I was just trying to see if you were paying attention. I am but only understanding about 15-20% of everything being said.

Dale Con Ganas=Biggest Loser

As you know from my original posting of this blog, I'm a huge fan of the Biggest Loser. So I'm thinking that this spinoff will be the same. People doing weekly competitions to lose the most weight.Well, there's a large difference in the budgeting for this show. You don't see the Gladiator-like arenas and obstacle courses. I am also not a fan of the large families competing against each other and they have to
pick their own relatives to vote off the show when they don't lose enough weight. I am picking up words like Perder-to lose, Ganas-The will, Libra-pound


There's another show that's similar that I'd like to check out called Ritmo Dieta. (Diet Rhythm) I'm not sure if it was on WE or TLC but there was a similar show called Dance Your Ass Off. Contestants losing weight through dancing and giving performances each week.

Make Yourself Watch Commercials

Commercials repeat themselves in a way that's unique. They're trying to stick in your head so you'll buy a product. Let them. Wait, don't let them make you buy something. Let them stick in your head. It's easy to start learning phrases that go together because the commercials are made to be catchy. The only problem is that the CC does not apply to commercials. Who would be crazy and stupid enough to request that? I have no idea. Don't look over here.

There are of course commercials for other shows that would also be interesting like a show that's like the Biggest Loser and a beauty pageant called Niestra Belleza Latina. My favorites are the Home Depot and Lowe's commercials. McDonald's and Whataburger Commercials. (You'll notice that there aren't Taco Cabana clips) Make up brands, car sales, and furniture stores. I pick up days of the week and times. Details about sales- Venta- sale, precio mejor- best price, camioneta-truck, interes- interest, ropa- clothing, me encanta- I'm loving it(mcd's)

Lupita Lopez and the Deathly Weddings

Oh sweet Lupita at her wedding all dressed in white. Oh wait! What's that? Her 25 year old fiancé dies at the alter from overwhelming happiness!! "Oh ma goh!" as the character Pina would say. But seriously, that's how that character dies. Comedy, remember? Then there's this whole deal about Lupita not wanting to live anymore but the show is a comedy so they don't want to outright have her trying to commit suicide.

I'm quickly learning words about death and murder. Morir, muerto, matar, no respirando, no quiero vivir. llorar, triste, etc. Did you know that there isn't a word for Heaven. It's just the same word for sky in spanish. Cielo is Spanish for sky and heaven.

"No soy gay." (Dramatic Minor Chords)

I've been watching the show enough to where I can follow the main relationships of the show. Pancho loves Rebe. Chela loves Pancho but really she loves Enzo. Lupita is about to get married. Temo loves Meli. Candy loves Vicente who is married to Pina. Vicente really loves Candy. Pete loves Monica. There are even two small dogs who love each other. Arnold is having conflicting feelings of whether he's gay or not. This is a comedy remember? So this is someone walking around flirting with random people of both genders. I love this show.

Dead wife costumes in April?

Is this Mardi Gras? Nah, there are too many skeletons. Halloween? Nah, because where are all of trick or treaters? This standout episode of Una Familia Con Suerte has everyone in costumes, make up, and masks. I'm now realizing just how delayed the show is from the original airing in Mexico. It's the Dia de Los Muertos/day of the dead festival. Which is celebrated in October. Next up is going to be the Christmas episodes in May. It makes me think of how people in different parts of the world watch Baywatch still. A complete time warp of thinking that orange bathing suits and enormous breasts are a norm in America. So life in Mexico is living in a mansion with two maids being stalked by a mob king enfatuated with your sister right?

EXTREME Subtitle Reading

When you feel that using the subtitles is futile, that's understandable. I've figured out that this kind of practice is very advanced and it's skipping your average steps like grammar and verb tenses. Here's the thing though, I've tried that. I've tried going in order. Several times. It didn't work though because I couldn't get any of the information to stick long term.

Using Univision is a technique called Immersion. It builds your listening and speaking skills first before you learn the structure and reasons why for every word choice. It's how we all learned English. Now I build my own interest in looking up the grammar and I have this constant feeling of "Oh now that makes sense!" It's relieving and the next time I see the same example, it sticks. That's why this is really working, plus it's freaking free. I'm watching tv anyway so it's the same amount of time anyway.


You're not going to know every word and it's going to be too fast. But it will get easier and easier I promise. If it's getting easier for me then it will work for anyone.

Alejandra Guzman is a real person?!?

TV theme songs are key. I quickly memorized the lyrics to the theme song for Una Familia Con Suerte. Of course, I'm thinking the whole time that the woman singing is some comedian with a part in the show that I haven't seen yet. Turns out to be the current Lady Gaga of current Latino Music, Alejandra Guzman.

This made me interested in other songs that I could memorize to help me with idioms and phrases that go together really fast.

I've loved Selena even before I found out she was a real person and not just some TBS weekend movie with Jennifer Lopez that I had always halfway watched while doing chores. Now if the character in Legally Blonde turns out to be real, forget teaching, I'm going to be "a law school student".
Selena's music is a perfect example of trying out your listening skills while you're stuck in the car. Translate a song, then listen to the song until you can pick out the words and then BAM you've got a Sing A Long. You can't wus out on this sing-a-long either. Selena has excellent power ballads where you've got to belt it out. Another good thing is that her music doesn't have a particular accent that's hard to pick out because she grew up in the US and Spanish was a second language.

Molestar Does Not Mean- To Molest

Play Games and Talk to Yourself
Memorizing Vocab and Verb Tense Was About as Effective as Verbally Telling a Teenager A Due Date Once.

Anytime you can figure out how to incorporate action with new words, it makes long term absorption of the information a lot easier.
The next time you're playing a game with anyone, say the moves in Spanish. I've found that common, simple games are best like checkers or chess. Practice words like mover, doblar, diagonal, derecho, derecha, izquierda, espacio, lugar, perder, ganar etc. Scrabble in English doesn't work, Mom. Sorry.

It's really frustrating at first because all you want to do is speak in English, but after a few turns you get it.

From there, talk to yourself when you're driving. Anyone will think you've got Bluetooth, if they're the creepy type to stare at people in their cars. They bother me. Las personas me molestan?

Don't Go Around Saying Cowabunga Either

Learning the Characters of Class

I'm picking up on the speech patterns depending on their class. Pina is a very rich high class comedy character who adds an 's' or 'sh' to her terms of endearment. For example, "mi amors" and "hermosho". On the other end, there's the Lopez family who calls each other "carnal" and they use "chido" for the word cool. "No manches" is the running joke of the father character, Pancho Lopez.
>
I am under strict orders to never use these words unless I want to sound either like I'm trying to hard or simply like an idiot. Saying "no manches" would be as if I went around and said "cowabunga" or "rad" to people. I'm more careful to figure out if words belong in the Urban dictionary or if it's not slang.






One last new thing for today is youtube. Looking up interviews from people on how they became fluent in Spanish as an adult when English is their first language. Once again, it's not really cheating, just looking up eveyone else's answers. Write down ideas and books that sound appealing to you and see if you can find used copies from Amazon.

Learning the Cheat Codes

After two hours of Una Familia Con Suerte, my attention span is
slipping. I can't understand a word of it. Now that I know that it's a comedy it makes sense as to why the facial expressions are quirky and there are odd sound effects like whipping sound every time the stupid "Bad Boy" opens his napkin. I know, really? But aside from that, I can't figure out the plot. So, I'm trying a trick.

Settings=>CC=>Spanish

I'm studying words that would typically come up in a telenovela. Words like Amor, Amante (Lover), Luchar(To Fight), Corazon, Culpa(To Blame), Lo Siento, Olvidar(To Forget), Mira, Mortir(To Die), Matar(To Kill), and I think llorar is to cry and oder is to hate.

I've always tried out memorization and reading on the side, but I can't hear the words for the life of me. Mainly because of the many, many ways that they could be conjugated and used in idioms. The Spanish subtitles are fixing that. It's a Feels-Like-Cheating thing but it's really not in the bigger picture. If the subtitles were in English, then it wouldn't be helping me in anyway.

I'm able to write down words that I see repeated but I don't know what they mean. I look them up and try watching the episode again until I can figure out with the new context clues what's going on.

Don't Tell Teenagers That You Feel Shit

So there's now a secret post-it that I keep on an inside panel of my left desk drawer. The majority of the list came from the movie Stand and Deliver. It's a classic TP movie (teacher porn; movies that excite teachers).
It's PG, but my sweet and innocent freshman tutor had a blast pointing out the inappropriate Spanish words.

I slipped up a few times whenever I would try to tell her that I was scared of embarrassing myself. Miedo and mierda are very close sounding when you're first learning the language. Maybe it was just me in the whole world who was going around saying "I feel shitty" or "I shit" over and over again. I was definitely embarrassing myself.

Why learn the Spanish curse words? High school teacher, remember? However, I finally realized that yes, if I memorized the terrible Spanish words and rude kids spoke them individually and slowly, then I'd catch them. But, then I'd question myself if I really did hear them. I'll have to become fluent before I could really catch kids being inappropriate in class. 

Ineffective Programs that Rhyme with Herietta Pone

Accountability is key when it comes to fluency. I'm a gamer to the extent that I enjoy games that provide instant gratification in the forms of positive reinforcement with added points, tracked progress and cool accessories like flying shoes or fire balls that you can spit.

Rosetta Stone costs hundreds of dollars. It also doesn't track your progress. It gives you a score when you test yourself on quizes but it doesn't compare the different tries you take. I just couldn't assign myself homework beyond a certain amount of time that I would spend with it. I took about two months seriously dedicating whole Saturdays to Rosetta Stone. No flying shoes or fire breath.  Luckily, I borrowed the set from another person who didn't use it to fluency.  No harm done though.

One quick lesson that I learned was that you Have To diversify how you're learning the language. You will get bored otherwise. Keep it new and interesting. There many things that I tried in the beginning. Things that worked, things that were stupid. Rosetta Stone was a stupid one.

Challenge Accepted

Day One-I'm watching a scrubby looking man driving an older woman in a food
truck. They keep flashing back to her trying to kill herself off of a
bridge. Then they're having a birthday meal outside with his family.
Why does he keep laughing like that? UGH, why does he keep making those faces? I
pick up gracias and cumpleanos then I give up for the day.

What the heck happened to two whole years of Spanish classes? Tengo un gato in mis
pantelones. That's what happened.

My "tutor" is a sweet freshman student who's entertained
with my progress. I tell her about my frustration about the suicide attempt,
then a food truck ride then a kid's birthday party. I didn't think it was that funny really. Teachers like it when their jokes make kids laugh or maybe they pity smirk. But this became a literal OMG LOL LMAO session. I guess I do know at least one other language. 

She says that I stumbled on a show called Una Familia Con Suerte, a slapstick comedy. She gives me homework to stick with it. Challenge Accepted.

Why? Rewinding the DVR

So... I am a teacher. Not only am I a teacher but I teach in Texas. Not only do I teach in Texas but I teach Speech Communications. It's asinine that I can't speak Spanish.

When you grow up in Texas you take Spanish courses in high school but you do the work for the grade, not for fluency or even competency for that matter. There's currently a big push here for bilingual education on the elementary level. I missed that boat, of course.

When a teacher feels ignorant or behind it's troubling. We feel like we're not doing enough for their students. We're strange people.

Education is everywhere. No Excuses, and it's going to be fun and at my pace. (Which means completely random, two steps forward one step back, and ridiculous.

I Am Through

I'm not sure that this was Biggest Loser's intent but when the No Excuses season started it got me thinking about my own life and what was the one thing that I wasn't doing because of excuses. Once Conda started her hater rampage it clicked. The remote. Through the basic stations until I got to Univision. So it begins.